This thought can't be contained in 140 characters.

        Writing songs tonight is hard. Not because I can't find the perfect rhyme or because Facebook is especially distracting. It's because I'm writing about trying to give myself closure.

       Most of what I write about is at least semi-autobiographical. Sure, there may be a few embellishments here and there, but it's mostly true. But tonight..........tonight's lyrics are gut-wrenchingly true. Every word is ripped straight from my chest, cutting through all the bulls*** and the lies I tell myself. I can sugarcoat it all I want, but it's not gonna change the fact that they're there. This is one of those songs that I hate writing. Mainly because I know how it's gonna end. And it's not cut-and-dry. In fact it's kind of frayed and tangled and messy.

        I keep telling myself this is my form of catharsis. This is how I heal. I sing over and over again until the song becomes a look at who I used to be. Some are harder to sing than others, because they're still true. Other songs I sing because they are about people and places I can look back at and honestly say, "I'm thankful that happened to me". I pray that others who hear the songs can use them to overcome obstacles. And besides...some of the most painful songs are the easiest to relate with, right?

     

It Had To Be You...

 When I was 9 or 10, I decided that I was going to have a journal. I don't know if this happened because I wanted to write about my elementary school drama or because of the fact I got this cool journal with a wolf on it, but I wanted to write. The last time I went back home, I found the journal with only about 10 of the pages filled. Reading it, I realized three things.

1. I was a TERRIBLE writer back then.

2. Life of a 10 year old is not that interesting

3. I started every journal post the exact same way: "Dear journal, sorry I haven't written in a while."

I realize it's been over 2 months since my last blog input. I have been writing, but most of what I've had to say is being effectively said through Twitter or my songwriting. None of my thoughts have exceeded 140 characters since April. But a few things happened in the last few weeks that caused me to think "I should write a blog on that". This is one of them.

A few weeks ago, I had the honor of being in a good friend's wedding. I had a blast hanging out with him, the groomsmen & the rest of the bridal party. She was a beautiful bride and it was a beautiful service, complete with perfect music selections (which is an incredible compliment coming from a music elitist like myself). 

As the bride and groom stood there I couldn't see his reactions, but I had a clear view of the bride. She was staring right in his eyes and I knew immediately what her expression meant: I will follow you anywhere. There was a sense of complete trust and faith towards this man she was committing her life. 

I'm a single man who hasn't been in a relationship in a long time, but at that moment I knew I wanted a woman to look at me like that. Someone who will give me their hand and trust me to lead her wherever life takes us. It's a huge and frightening responsibility that I'm certainly not ready for at this moment, but I want it some day.

Like I said in the previous paragraph, I haven't dated in a long time. It's not that I haven't tried, it's just that for one reason or another the potential fell apart. After many failed attempts at relationships, I now know and have faith that when I'm ready, God will reveal the right woman for me. But until then, He will keep shaping me into the man that a Godly woman will desire.

I know that many of you are in my position. Being a college graduate, there's societal pressures weighing on me, a topic I will be branching out more on in a later blog post. Many people my age are getting to the point of finding their 'mate' and getting married. My only advice to single people: Don't let the panic bring you down. Everything comes in its own time and in it's own season. Do what I do; use 1 Corinthians 13: 4 - 7 as a benchmark for your life. Ask yourself if these attributes of love are being implemented into your life every day.

My good friend and band mate Lindsey Paige has a song on her EP that has to do with leading the single life called 'Lonely Tonight'. It's an incredible piece of songwriting that I would encourage everyone to check out. Closing this post out with the lyrics to the chorus seem fitting.

                     I miss you even though I don't know your name
                     I wait for you like the desert waits for the summer rain
                     it's been a knock down, drag out
                     I'm still alone now, ruthless fight
                     But until you're here to stay
                     I'll choose to be lonely tonight.

Take me out to the ball game...

             Before I start this next post, let me explain the consistency (or lack thereof) of My Life on Shuffle. I told you in my initial post that my life is busy. But sometimes it gets to the point where non-essentials take a backseat until things die down. This last week was one of those moments. While I enjoy a different style of writing, graduating from college is my #1 priority right now. So from now on, I'm gonna try to post weekly and if more happen, then it's a blessing.




               And now...the post.


               It's baseball season now & I'm kind of glad. When it comes to watching sports, I'm a little more than a casual fan, but not quite a die hard sports enthusiast. I love Duke basketball, but outside of them I don't follow another sports team to the point where I never miss watching a game. For some reason, especially in Georgia, baseball is ingrained into the minds of boys at a young age. But my first memory of baseball had nothing to do with me playing. It involved a 3"X2" piece of cardboard.


            I remember it vividly, a green 1991 Donruss baseball card with Atlanta Braves shortstop Andres Thomas. He wasn't a good player, Thomas hit .219 in 1990 and according to Baseball Almanac never played in the majors again. But the important thing was he was mine (on the card, anyway). 



           That card started something that became a big part of my childhood. I would get my allowance and immediately spend it on packs of cards. I gradually built a collection of baseball cards. No birthday or Christmas morning would pass without a few packs or God-willing, a box of cards! Before I was 10 years old, I had amassed a collection of a few thousand cards. These didn't get put in boxes for safe keeping. No, they were spread out all over my bedroom floor. I would spend hours playing games with the cards and sorting through them, organizing them in different ways. By teams, card year, birthdate, statistics, positions; even the state they were born. I learned a lot of useless knowledge that way. For instance: I still remember that Frank Viola finished 20-11 and a 2.67 ERA with the Mets in 1990. 


         There's something special about opening a new pack of cards: the rustle of the foil, trying to pull apart the seam at the bottom when the top won't budge, the squeak of the foil when you pull it apart, the smell of new cards, flipping through to see if you got a player from your favorite team, or even better...YOUR favorite player. I haven't been an avid card collector for years but every few months I'll buy a pack or two, just to relive that feeling.


         Most of my cards aren't valuable. The few that are aren't in great shape. Every once in a while, I'll pull a few out & sort through them again. I remember a day when my dad showed me his card collection. It wasn't much; just a few cards he had picked up that his mom hadn't thrown out. I was blown away at the time. Some of them weren't famous, but some of them were Hall of Famers. I'm thankful that my parents didn't throw mine away so I can one day show my kid my collection. Hopefully he will have the same reaction.

Songwriting Ideas From the Man After God's Own Heart

I've been writing a lot lately.

  Believe me, this didn't used to be the case. I would write papers for school, but outside of that I would have rather opened up a book, watched television or played a musical instrument. But for some reason I decided to start writing music. I've never been good at faking anything, so I wrote lyrics about what I knew. After writing many, MANY bad songs I became good at writing them, as long as it dealt with what I was feeling at the moment. Now, five years and countless songs later, I am writing quality songs on a consistent basis.

Lately I've been thinking about King David as a writer and how he impacts my writing style. He was a man of many talents. He was a warrior, a leader, and a shepherd to go along with the whole songwriter thing. He has an entire book of the Bible that HE wrote largely by himself (Psalms) in addition to all the awesome things he did that are chronicled in 3 other books of the Bible. It's easy to see why I look up to him, but I'm gonna give you a few reasons why anyway.

1. 150 of his works have been published.

From a writer's perspective, I can't help but imagine how many of these Psalms he wrote that didn't make the cut. I can't count how many notebooks of half-finished lyrics and terrible songs I have that I won't ever show people, and I've only been writing for 10 years! Imagine the amount of papyrus (or whatever David used to write) discarded after a lifetime of writing! Another way to look at it is that he had 150 poems/songs that were deemed good enough to be put in the Bible. As a songwriter, I don't think I have 40 songs that I would even be willing to play in front of people, much less publish.

2. He wrote about everything

I know what you're thinking: "Wait a second, David wrote about everything? Like lightbulbs and cars and Pop Tarts? How would he have even known about Pop Tarts unless....God showed him in a vision!" (wow, that was a stretch to try to be funny. Sorry folks) David didn't know about those things, but he knew all about the human condition.  Most importantly, he was not afraid to write about these emotions. He wrote more than the "Oh, God you are so great. I love you" poems that seem so easy to write without meaning anything. A lot of his psalms are not happy ones. They deal with rejection, abandonment, and other human qualities. It takes courage for David to reveal to God his honest and most personal feelings. That way, when he does praise God for all of his blessings, it means much more.

3. He wrote at different lengths

Sure, David had the 50-verse soliloquies that marveled at the wonder of God, but come on; how many of us can even listen to someone talk like that without becoming the least bit cynical? For every epic poem David wrote, he had the nine-verse-long song that was as every bit meaningful and genuine. Don't believe me? Look at his most famous Psalm, the 23rd one: Six lines. Sometimes short and sweet is equally as good, or even better.
       
      I know that a lot of writers get discouraged. They think their idea well has run dry and they will never write another decent sentence again. Whenever it happens to me, I search for inspiration. Sometimes I look in my iTunes playlists, other times I try to find it in movies and television. But some of the best songs I've written, some of the most honest and personal lyrics I have put down on paper have come from a place that's much deeper than anything else out there. They come from God. 


     Maybe the next time we're searching for restoration, we should look there first.

Starting Off...

That's right: Andy has a blog.

This is an age where technology has inundated us with everything from portable music players the size of a quarter to programs for your phone that can be used as a flashlight. But often times these applications and devices come under the question of what is practical. Because as cool as movie theater stand-ups are, they have no practical use in a house (other than taking up space). This is a question I had to ask myself.

Back in high school, I had two MySpace accounts. One was for me personally and the other was for my music in its most primitive forms. For two years I would get on and be actively involved; adding friends, posting comments on blogs and friends' walls and even writing every once in awhile. But once college hit and Facebook was made available, I jumped ship and my 'new' life was documented there. Going even further, I am active on my twitter account (andyunger if you want to follow me), which stays updated at least once a day. Nowadays, my MySpace accounts have shifted off of my brain, save for the little updates I get from people trying to make money off of my music.

I've contemplated getting a blog in the past, but the little apps inside myspace & facebook have satisfied my desire. More recently I have had to consider the practical question. Since I already spend a lot of my life on facebook and twitter, would I be able to consistently have something worth mentioning and give the time needed to mention the somethings? Obviously the answer is clear because this blog exists. A few things about how this blog will relate to you and me:

1. My life is crazy. There's never a happy medium or a sense of normalcy. It often shifts between being busy, swamped and inundated. I sometimes complain, but the truth is I wouldn't have it any other way. I think this is why I procrastinate until the last moment (I think that last statement is redundant). I feel more alive and productive when the clock is ticking. That being said, a post will not be an everyday occurrence, but I will try to post regularly.

2. I have many passions, which gives me a lot to write about. I love all aspects of music (writing, recording, performing, listening) and do these almost every day. I love being a God follower and all that that entails. I love watching, following, and occasionally playing sports. I love movies and television and talking about the shows I watch. Which brings me to..

The point of all points

3. I chose the title of my blog, My Life on Shuffle, because one of the things that I love doing is keeping my iTunes on shuffle all the time. I have iTunes playing all of the time whenever I am on my computer. All those free downloads and albums I wouldn't think of listening to get an equal shot to be played. Yes, some of them are not very good. But everyone once in a while, I find a truly great song or artist that makes sifting through the crap worth it all.

My Life on Shuffle isn't specific to one topic. Some of it might be funny, some of it insightful or even turn angry. But isn't that life? Would it be as interesting if we were happy all the time or everything went right or we didn't feel pain? Odds are that life would boring. Hopefully this won't be boring.